3 Reasons Why I Hate Smalltalk

Okay. So you are at a party/ family function eyeing the waiter with the appetizers every 28 seconds and suddenly a relative appears! And you’re like ‘Where the hell did that come from?’ Now, you have nothing against this said relative. But that Chicken Satay on the tray had looked really good! It’s okay when you are a little kid. You ignore relatives and they just think you’re shy but still adorable, when you’re prancing about like a deer. But as you get older, the words ‘social obligation’ basically put a noose around your neck and put the lever in the hands of the person you’re forced to make small talk with.

Hate is not a word you throw around lightly, but here are 3 reasons I absolutely HATE small talk!

Reason #1: It is pointless

So we’re asking the basic and if you ask me, somewhat violated question that by now almost comes out robotically. ‘How are you?’ About 90% of the times that question is met with words ‘fine’, ‘good’ or associated synonyms, even if it’s a lie because let’s face it, nobody wants to talk about their problems to a person who’s an almost stranger. Also, they too are aware that that question is more rhetorical than sincere.  Very rarely, the answer is ‘not fine’ and then what follows, mostly leads to an awkward uncertain reaction which brings us to reason #2

Reason #2: It is awkward

Once you’ve asked the basic questions, (How are you? How is work? And the ever so popular how are the kids?) There’s nothing much left to say. Now there’s no shame in walking away. But some people just…don’t! They stay; and what ensues are really awkward conversations about the weather and shoes!

Reason # 3: It is boring

On an average at a party, you meet and speak to about 20 people. That’s 20 times that you have to repeat the greetings and questions from the layman’s guide to small talk booklet. What does it do really? It bores. A bunch of superficial answers about people’s lives and jobs and pets, barely interesting enough to hold my attention…ah, there goes my chicken satay!

Now in all this I wouldn’t want you to misconstrue that I discourage good manners. No. Please. Smile. It is powerful. Remember that quote? About a smile being a powerful weapon that can break ice? Make sure to keep it sincere. Maybe point out the waiter with the chicken satay. That’s one way to make sure the opposite person wishes you well. But the endless conversations about the weather..? God, I HATE small talk!

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Unrequited love

‘Tell me about her’
‘She’s really beautiful.’
‘That’s what they all say.’
‘Well, that’s the first thing you notice about someone. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.’
‘What sets her apart?’
‘She has a quality.’
‘A quality?’
‘Yes. Something about her that I can’t take my eyes off. But I also can’t look at her for too long. It’s like I’ll ruin the perfection.’
‘Have you spoken to her?’
‘One time. When she lost her gold locket. I helped look for it.’
‘Did you find it?’
‘No. She did. But she thanked me anyway for helping her look. That made me feel good. Like she’s the kind of person who thinks that even the office aide should be treated well.’
‘Is that a rare quality?’
‘Rarer than you would think.’
‘What happened to her?’
‘She stopped coming to work one day. I was scared. I thought something happened to her.’
‘Had it?’
‘No. She came in a week later.’
‘That must have been a relief.’
‘Not really. She had a diamond ring on her finger. Big and radiant! The kind that can maybe light up a room!’
‘What are you going to do about it?’
‘Nothing. I can’t compete with the diamond ring.’
‘So.. What will you do now?’
‘For what?’
‘To fall out of love. Oh, and find a new job.’

Inspired by- Someone I know